Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Maybe It's Tha Thug In Me...

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The more I date, and I use that word VERY loosely, I'm coming to the realization that my tolerance for bull is becoming VERY low. I remember the days of being bright eyed and addicted to the thrill of falling in love. I was that girl who would doodle last names and add up the letters of our governments to determine if it was "true love" or just a "spring fling." I was a victim of the Cinderella Complex, you know the belief in "Happily Ever After." Not that there is anything wrong with that, but at some point I started becoming cynical realistic. Or so I think...

Within my circle of friends, we all joke so much about how much we are thugs when we enter into relationships. If a man is able to woo and wow us, then the saying goes that "he has our thug on the floor." In the past couple of months, I admit I've had to put out a #ThugAPB, but like clockwork its always came back in a matter of time.

Why? I mean, we are seriously trying to play the game before it plays us and are relationships are nothing but preemptive strikes after another. The bad thing about it is we are so busy trying to make sure we don't get played and to do everything that a guy might do that we don't even realize some of these dudes might not be about that.

Take the old school me and the new school me. If the old school me wants to be in a relationship then that's when you have to court me, have conversation, talk to me whatever. Yet sometimes stuff happens and dudes just become jump-offs. If I get involved with a dude like that and there is no real emotional connection I refuse to let him build one with me because in my mind I'm thinking he's doing it just because he thinks this is what I want to hear.

Women use men for sex, let them go if we assume that they're catching feelings, and more and more we are refusing to eat ice cream and watch pseudo-romance movies when a break up is imminent. It's interesting how the roles are slightly changing when it comes to relationships. Girls are becoming more aggressive and while it may not be a bad thing, hardening your heart isn't the best thing either.

We were also talking about the whole intimacy thing and I really want to pose this question of when did it become okay for women to be like "we can engage in #hoshit, but he can't be my man??? "

Does it come with heartache, disillusionment, growing up, what???
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