Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Some People Never Change...

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."

I'm the type of person where if you do wrong by me, I won't automatically cut you out of my life. This goes directly against my nature as a Gemini/Cancer, but what can I say besides I'm a sucker I've learned over the years that people not infallible. Captain Obvious right? You would think. However, it's not that simple. Throughout my life, I have messed people over and had people mess me over. As a result, I tend to feel hypocritical when I remove people from my life that have made a mistake.

I have had "friends" that I've distanced myself from because they never keep their word. I have had guys that I delete from my phone because they lie without a conscience. Yet often, with no provocation, these people resurface in my life with promises of being a better person and I tend to believe them. Why? Well, because I've had to do some groveling before. I've had to reevaluate myself and make a change for the better and when I do, I tend to want to right the wrongs I've made. 

But not everyone thinks like me. Unfortunately. There are people who will simply try to come back into your life because they are, well, they are sadists! Okay, either that or they are just at a moment in their life where they are incapable of change. The reason why they try to come back into your life is not because they really want to make up to you. Instead, they need someone who enables their inadequacies. 

I had an ex-boyfriend once and when he would do something out of control, we would break up, he would apologize, swear that he would change, and I would take him back. The cycle continued until I realized as long as it came to me, he would never change. Now, that's not to say that it wasn't possible for him to grow up and become a better person outside of our relationship. However, based off the things he'd done to me, and the times I had forgiven him, I had already set the standard for how he would continue to treat me. He needed me to enable his inadequacy.

In the end, it's never really about you. It's about them. While it's almost cliche, especially now that life coaches are popping up on every Twitter page and Facebook profile near you, the quote "when someone shows you who they are, believe them," is so true. If you must give people another chance, don't do it blindly. Do not allow someone or yourself to guilt you into accepting them back into your life, especially before they've shown they are capable of changing.


  1. I enjoyed this post my fellow millennial!

    I think change is such a strong thing to do for some people, well all of us.

    When incorporating change into our lives, I believe the biggest fear is how people will be receptive to it as well as how "life changing" it will become. You never know how good or bad changing something will be until the people it may effect(including yourself) responds to it. (see Obama)


  2. Thanks D! I appreciate it :-)

    @Janelle - I like the way you think girl! That's a perfect example of how people aren't receptive to change and even afraid of it. They will cling onto people who don't encourage that growth, as we end up not realizing why it is we can't change, when it's because we're hanging around someone else who's hindering us. Great insight! Thanks!


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