Monday, May 3, 2010

Can I Take You Out?

Walking down the street, in a lounge, restaurant, or club I am approached by men of varying backgrounds. It usually plays out with the guy chatting me down while I or my friends give him the side eye. After passing the "Can you make me laugh, think, and/or blush" test, I give him my number, listen to him tell me that he'll call me and then I go about my way.

Now, I'm not the type of girl to sit by a phone wondering when a man will call me. However, if I just meet you I do expect a call...NOT a text. It irritates my loins when a man tries to find out everything about me over text messaging. I understand that we live in a fast paced society and phone calls are almost obsolete. Yet, if a man asks me for my phone number, showing some kind of interest, I expect some effort.

iDigress. Although, first contact texts make me seethe, nothing grinds my gears worse than a man who calls or texts me to ask "When are we gonna hook up?" or "What are you doing later, I wanted to try and come over." *screeching* Realllllly?

This is where that effort talk comes into play. If a man went through the trouble of asking for my number, shouldn't he also have a game plan? I expect him to call me with a concrete plan. Be it a restaurant he's been wanting to check out, a movie, or a museum exhibit. Whatever it is, he needs to have it worked out BEFOREHAND. I'm not apologetic that I am old school. Furthermore, when the old school me wants to be in a relationship, I expect to have courtship and conversation. Contrary to popular belief a first date does NOT consist of you/me leaving your/my house to go and kick it at my/your house. I have almost 100 DVDs at my own house and a wireless connection that allows me to watch whatever I want online. There is nothing a first date at someone's house can afford me that I can't already get on my own.

As I have gotten older my expectations have matured. In any arena of life when you know better you do better. Your girlfriends and the guys you meet will love to call you picky if you set certain standards for yourself. Yet, ladies we have to stop falling for it. A man should never force you to compromise your standards but that doesn't mean they won't try. If you give in, well then that's on you.


  1. I too have the same expectations and if the man doesn't call me, I will assume he wasn't serious or was involved with someone else. I went out with a 39 year old friend who hasn't been in a relationship in 15 years! I was kinda baffled because she is a pretty girl and super cool. That was until I saw her flirting with a random dude about him becoming her bed buddy and I realized that her standards were too low. After talking further with her I surmised that she had been hurt in the past and the 15 year stream of bed buddies appeared to be her way to keep from getting hurt again. SMH...

  2. I am about to waive my praise cloth! I don't know what it is but interactions (especially online interactions)with men now are so frustrating. Like for me, 90% of the time when I meet a guy, go through the "Oh, he's nice" and give him my number (which I feel some kind of way about ANYWAYS) I end up regretting it. As soon as he gets on that phone he turns into that guy that just wants to "chill...I just want to get to know you better." It got so bad that I locked it down and it's been down for going on two years. Are men just not programmed to date anymore or are they just used to women with lowered standards?

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