Monday, May 10, 2010

Man Up! In Defense of Chivalry...

 

*Disclaimer - While my post appears to talk in generalizations, know that I am aware this does not apply to ALL males. I however, am too lazy to constantly make references to "most" males, "some" males, not all males, etc., throughout this post...
 
Fellas please stop blaming Ms. Independent for the Death of Chivalry. To do so willingly relinquishes your own accountability while bogusly passing it off as merely cause and effect. Au contraire, chivalry has never been about what you expect to get out of holding the door open, helping your woman put on her coat, or pulling the chair out. Although I admit I do have to take into account, that chivalry has been perverted by politics and is now the currency used in the exchange of goods and services as eloquently stated in B.I.G's I'm F*&king You Tonight.


Whenever I hear conversations about Ms. Independent versus Mr. Chivalrous it always makes me think of the chicken before the egg argument. Men love claiming they refuse to be chivalrous because women don't appreciate the gesture. Yet, I find it hard to believe that a chivalrous man, will always reap the complete opposite. When women stop doing things for the opposite sex because of bad past experiences, we are misdiagnosed as bitter. However, when men do it, they are called wise or heralded for "keeping it real." o__O Also, it is interesting to note how the dynamics of chivalry has played out in non-romantic relationships. I can't count how many times I've seen a man scurry in front of a woman to have a seat on the bus.

Whatever your reason for not being chivalrous, know that I'm judging you. Men expect women to cook, clean, put it down in the bedroom, yet expect us to believe that there is something so draining about holding a door open, or helping to put on a coat. It's not like we're asking you to go all LL Cool J, I Need Love, style on us and lay down your jacket so we can walk over a puddle. Just a simple act of kindness will suffice. We can dissect all day whether the beginning of women being independent was the decline of chivalry, or if it was the decline of chivalry that made women independent. However, I think the act should be regarded as an inner characteristic that you take wherever you go, simply because you want to be polite. Naive? Perhaps.

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